


Hold onto Me(Letting Go)

by Rinnly



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Night Terrors, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovered Memories, Separation Anxiety, Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Therapy, Torture, so be careful and read the tags please, this is really heavy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7734121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinnly/pseuds/Rinnly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't come back that night.</p>
<p>Or the next.</p>
<p>Until it had been weeks.</p>
<p>Tyler Joseph and Joshua Dun had disappeared without a trace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take my whole life too

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> This story is gonna super heavy in the chapters to come so PLEASE PLEASE read the tags for future reference!
> 
> This chapter has no triggers/warnings at all(and wasn't revised lmao), so you're all in the clear for now. Just two happy boys.

The two loved moments like these.

 

Where, even during the hectic movements from point A to point B on tour, they were finally given a few days to relax with each other.

 

Cheek resting against the passenger side window, Tyler gazed out the glass with wonder in his wide, chocolate orbs. Scanning the buildings that loomed above head and gaping at the small shops and restaurants lining the bustling streets, Tyler seemed engrossed in city life. The movement of mothers, sons, college students, average people, strolling down the sidewalks. Talking to someone next to them, focused on their phones. Each with their own individual stories, thoughts, and history. It was a trance-like state for the performer. Thinking what each face had experienced, what their names were, what their purpose was.

 

On the other hand, Josh had a single question on his mind. But he decided against speaking up about where he wanted to eat as he noticed  _ that _ look on Tyler's face. He was deep in thought, and the drummer respected that, instead returning his focus to the road. Taking a right, Josh drove deeper into the heart of the city, scanning the lines of restaurants, fast food chains, and gift shops before his eyes landed on a Taco Bell sign way down the road.

Glancing at Tyler momentarily, as if for approval, the brunette instead of meeting Josh’s gaze, seemed to have a moment of enlightenment spread across his face as his eyes softly searched through the crowds and bustling streets. His eyes squinted for a moment, his teeth nibbled on his lip, and his brows furrowed and Josh quickly ditched the idea of asking for now and decided that Tyler's wonders were more important than his grumbling stomach. Tyler's fingers reached around in his pocket, pulling out his phone and hurriedly typing in four lines in a new note. He hummed softly, gesturing with his index finger with each twist and turn of the tune that escaped his lips as he thought out the small beat that was stuck in the back of his throat. His brows creased further and his eyes began to narrow in frustration. His humming grew sharper, before he threw his head back and let out a loud groan. "Ugh! I almost had it!"

 

Josh tilted his head apologetically, smiling encouragingly and stealing a brief glance at the singer, placing a hand on his knee and squeezing it. "it sounded great, you can do it!"

But that just wasn't doing it for Tyler, as he slammed his fist on the armrest, dragging his other hand down his face as his groan muffled into his palm, whining. "But I was so clooose- UGH!"

 

The drummer huffed, trying to think of something to get Tyler’s mind off of his frustration. Josh's face lit up as he nudged Tyler’s shoulder with his elbow, gesturing to the Taco Bell they were coming upon with a grin.

 

"Ooh.” Tyler gaped for a moment before spinning back to face Josh. “We’re gonna get so fat.”

 

Josh burst into laughter, nodding in agreement as his eyes crinkled ever so slightly. “Totally worth it.”

 

Pulling to the back of the long line that wrapped halfway around the fast food restaurant, Josh pressed his foot on the brakes and sat back.

“What’d ya want?” Josh questioned, gazing at the singer who bit his lip and furrowed his brows in thought.

 

“A lot of things.” Tyler hummed, a smile momentarily tugging on his lips as Josh’s head tilted with a brief squint and confused expression.

 

“ _ Like _ ?” Josh urged, now fully aware Tyler was just being difficult.

 

“Like..” Tyler grinned, “‘ _ two crunchwrap supremes, 10 soft tacos, and three redbulls _ ’ kind of things.”

 

“Much better.”

  
  


\---

  
  


With two bags that were previously full of completely unhealthy food that they both already regretted eating and at least six cans of empty redbulls, Tyler and Josh lay sprawled on the couch in the comfort of their bus, Tyler’s face pressed under Josh’s chin and the drummer's arms lazily wrapped around Tyler’s shoulders.

 

“We should go get some dessert or something.” Tyler hummed against Josh’s neck.

 

Josh glanced out the tinted window, mild concern on his face.

“It’s getting kinda dark. You sure?”

 

Tyler nodded lazily, propping himself up, hands splayed across Josh’s chest with a dazed smile. “Yeah. I’m still kind of hungry.”

 

Josh snickered, pushing up, making Tyler straddle his hips as the two exchanged laughter and gentle shoves and light punches. “Okay, c’mon. We passed an ice cream place on the way to that Taco Bell. That sound good?”

 

“Heck yeah.”

 

The two hopped off the couch, grabbing the wrappers, bags, and the empty cans, shoving them into the near full trash can before they retreated out the door, Josh spinning the car keys on his index finger. Climbing into the car, the two chattered about things ranging between what they were going to do tomorrow as their last day of the brief break, to their performance in a week, and somehow the two best friends got to the topic of adopting a kitten and keeping it on the bus as they pulled into a parking space that lined the roads.

“We totally should.” Josh spoke as he stepped out of the car, their spot a block away from the ice cream place.

 

“I’d be down. What would Mark say, though?” Tyler hummed as he closed the passenger side door, the car locking behind them as they joined each other on the sidewalk, almost shoulder to shoulder. 

 

“He’d probably help us hide it.” Josh smirked, nudging Tyler as the singer laughed gently.

 

“That would be cool. What would it’s name be?” Tyler chirped.

 

“Uh… We’ll find that out later.” Josh breathed, glancing at Tyler who covered his mouth as he tried to restrain laughter.

“It’s name would be ‘We’ll find that out later’?” The singer’s shoulders slumped forward as he laughed, leaning on the drummer for support as he gasped between giggles. Josh burst into a fit of laughter, smiling from ear to ear as he nodded. “Definitely.”

The drummer’s laughter was light, but he was more caught up in the sight before him. Tyler’s eyes shone as he threw his head back, gasping for breath as his shoulders shook with laughter. The drummer’s gaze was soft with adoration, taking in the sight before him. Tyler, all tan skin and flushed cheeks and wide smiles, was leaning against him and Josh almost felt like he could take on the world with his best friend at his side.

 

The two strolled up to a quaint ice cream shop, Tyler leaning against the wide window in the front, gazing in with a small smile.

“This looks promising.”

 

Opening the door for Tyler, Josh followed in behind the singer as a small bell jingled above head. A girl spoke up, a smile on her lips.

“Hello!”

 

Josh smiled and Tyler exchanged hello’s with the girl, the two looking up at the menu as they spoke.

“Dude, caramel sounds good, but I like french vanilla.” Tyler’s lips pursed in thought.

 

“Then pick one.” Josh snickered.

 

“But I can’t!” Tyler complained.

 

After a minute of bickering, Tyler decided on french vanilla and Josh got caramel(in case Tyler still wanted a taste of it). Josh paid the girl as Tyler gazed hungrily at his cone, before the two best friends pushed back into the warm summer air. Tyler licked his ice cream and looked up at Josh for a moment, squinting.

 

“Wait. did you pay again?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I’m paying for you tomorrow, I swear.”

 

“But you looked so happy ‘m not just gonna distract you from your happiness.”

 

Tyler laughed softly, “What did I do to deserve you?”

 

Josh only retorted with a smirk, “Nothing at all, that’s the thing.”

 

“You’re _such_ a charmer.”

  
“Sure am.”


	2. Lying through his teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew is thrown into a panic as Josh and Tyler don't show back up in the morning.
> 
> On the other hand, the two best friends are in a panic of their own.

“What do you mean they’re gone?” Mark’s tone came out sharper than he had intended.

 

The other voice on the side of the phone hesitated, “They’re not in their bunks and their car isn’t here.”

 

Silence. Mark was left scrambling for words, blood running cold for a moment.

 

“Have you tried to find their location? There’s no way Josh doesn’t have his phone on him.”

 

“Okay, uh, we’ll be sure to try that.”

 

Mark hung up without a goodbye, hands shaking as he held the steering wheel, knuckles now white. Foresight would have told him that allowing the boys to go out on their own was a bad, bad idea. But he had ignored that nagging thought and stupidly let them slip.

  
  


\--

  
  


His body ached.

 

That was Tyler's initial thought as he gradually stirred from unconsciousness.

He whined, face down into an uncomfortable surface that made his skin crawl. Like those old, heavy, rough blankets you sat on while you watched fireworks during the Fourth of July that made your skin itch and burn. His body shook, like the ground beneath him was rolling over an uneven surface. Opening his mouth to complain, it only came out as a dry sputter. His stomach dropped in alarm, heart pounding inside his chest as he slowly became conscious of his situation. He tried moving his arms. Attempting to roll over brought a pang of panic and another wave of dull aching. Eyes shooting open, the singer trembled as he felt tight binds around his wrists and he squirmed as he realized his legs were also bound around his ankles. Writhing, the binds rubbed against his skin and his hands felt numb, only able to feel the trembling in his bones. He felt like he was going to vomit, leaving him to struggle as his head pounded and his vision swam.

The car lurched forward and his body slammed against cold metal and plastic. Yelping as his head met the wall, Tyler tried to curl in on himself and clutch his head, but couldn't do either. The back of his head grew demanding and sharp with it's pulsing and it threw Tyler into a frenzy. He felt tears forming behind his eyes, burning and threatening to spill down his cheeks as he whimpered between heavy gasps and dry pants. “Please, please..”

 

_ This wasn't happening. _

_ This was some sick, cruel joke. _

 

But it wasn't. Because the moment he let out an indication he was conscious, a gravelly voice in the front seat let out a snarl and he winced, poison dripping from the man's tongue.

"Shut your mouth, bitch."

 

Ducking his head, Tyler trembled as he brought his head between his knees. He curled in on himself in an uncomfortable position, arms twisted behind his back, knees tucked to his chest. And he just cried. His entire body trembled as his sobs muffled into his shirt, shaking uncontrollably as he squeezed his eyes shut. Between his whimpers, Tyler heard something. No, felt something shift beside him.

Trying to scramble back away from the possible danger, Tyler’s breathing grew frantic, breaths trembling from his lips as his shoulders shook. That was, until he felt his stomach drop. Gentle mocha eyes squinted open just mere inches from him.

 

His voice was barely above a whisper, words almost inaudible. “Oh my god, Josh. Josh.”

 

The drummer’s face flashed with panic, and Tyler felt bile and a sob raise into the back of his throat. Whimpering, the brunette shook his head, eyes glassy with tears as Josh tried to move his arms and thrashed his bound legs out. “Josh, please-”

 

The same voice from before barked and slammed a hand on the wall separating them and their captor. Tyler flinched back as the man snarled, “I said shut the  _ fuck _ up!”

 

Josh’s eyes burned with rage and spirit Tyler wished he could brandish. But his faith had already drained and Tyler’s face went pale as Josh mustered up a shout. “What do you want!?”

 

The car lurched forward as the man hit the brakes, the two band mates rocked forward, their bodies hitting the wall with dull thuds and grunts. “I said shut the fuck up!” The man’s voice lowered into a grumble. “I don’t wan’ to repeat myself, you worthless fucks.”

 

Josh’s eyes squeezed shut, brows knit together as he groaned, ducking his head and gritting his teeth as his head pounded from the impact. Tyler on the other hand had curled back in on himself, tears rolling down his cheeks as whimpers and sobs slipped from his lips. The drummer quickly noticed and dragged himself closer even as it strained his shoulders, settling next to Tyler, quietly hushing his best friend. The red haired man hummed encouragement as Tyler cried into Josh’s chest, lying through his teeth as he whispered.

  
“We’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasn't confusing.  
> I'm kinda trying to set the mood on both sides of the story idk if it's working but hey, hope you enjoyed!


	3. Drained of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small TW so be careful, my friendos.
> 
> \--
> 
> Mark becomes anxious.
> 
> The boys get a small taste of what they'll be put through.

Mark paced in front of the bus, shaking his head frantically as he waited for an update.  
His mind was swimming with thought upon thought, unable to process his own words as he mumbled beneath his breath. Rubbing his wrist, Mark clenched and unclenched his hand.  
Jumping as his phone went off, Mark scrambled to answer.

“Did you find them?”

There was a momentary pause and a couple murmurs. “We have bad news.”

Mark’s face drained of color. “Spit it out.”

“We.. We found their car and their phones. But no sign of Josh and Tyler.”

Mark went silent, fingers numb. His breaths came out as small trembles. “Fuck, fuck, fuck..”

“Look, Mark, maybe they just went out to have a good ti-”

“No, they didn’t!”

The director exhaled heavily, trying to recollect himself as he snatched his keys from his pocket, striding towards his car. “We.. We need to…damnit. Meet me at the police station.”

 

\--

 

Tyler never dared sleep during the whole drive. The feeling of the van’s wheels jostling over uneven ground, the way his stomach flipped when he drifted off, and how bile rose into the back of his throat every time his body urged him to close his eyes.

He didn’t want to sleep.  
He was so scared.

Josh said he was going to be okay. He wanted to believe him, he really did. But faith was drained from his veins, and he could barely imagine that hope returning. He clung onto distant prayers, though not quite as tightly as he clung onto Josh. The car had parked an hour ago. Or, it felt like an hour. The man had left and Josh for almost thirty minutes kicked at the back doors in the van, the metal not shuddering or faltering beneath each weakening thrash.  
The drummer was left panting, sweat beading on his forehead and matting bright red locks to his skin. Tyler stayed in the corner, still frantically trying to recollect himself while he could. Josh lay on his back, chest heaving.

“Tyler..”

The singer only responded with silence, curled in on himself as he trembled.

“Tyler-”

The double doors swung open and Tyler let out a scream, Josh also trying to scramble back. Tyler watched in horror as a hand clasped around Josh’s calf, pulling him back towards the man who held a cloth in his other palm. The drummer thrashed, panic evident in his face. The brunette lurched forward, landing face first into the floor as he tried to reach his best friend who was now grasping at the man’s wrist and arm, the cloth forced over his nose and mouth with muffled gasps and sputters.  
Face going pale as Josh’s eyes rolled back and he fell limp, Tyler went rigid. The man turned his focus from the now unconscious Josh to Tyler and the brunette almost vomited at the sight of a vile scowl on his face.

“Come here, boy.”

Tyler flinched back, pushing his entire body against the wall as he tried to keep his distance from their captor. And the man was not pleased with the reaction. Because the moment he pulled out the pistol from his hip, Tyler froze up and his breaths hitched in his throat.

“I said,” the man gestured the gun against Josh’s head, eyes wild, “come here.”

Tyler barely mustered up the courage to slump forward, tears forming and burning as they glazed over his eyes. The man forcefully grabbed Tyler’s shoulder, dragging the singer forward across the floor who whimpered in response, cheek burning as his face was shoved into the uncomfortable floor. Eyes squinting as he tried to blink back tears, they flew back open as soon as he was flipped over and a cloth was forced against his face, the scent forcing it's way into his nostrils and down his throat as he gasped in a breath. Fingers desperately reached up towards the man’s face, coordination growing weaker in each limb as he pushed against the man’s cheek and thrashed limply. The scent made his neck feel weak, head thumping against the floor. His eyes began to flutter, head swimming, and finally he fell unconscious.

 

\--

 

The room was silent and bathed in darkness. Tyler would have called it comfortable if it wasn't for the fact he sat on concrete, entire body screaming. A sudden bellow of laughter echoed through the cold room that dripped with moisture and a lack of proper air. A light flickered on at the other end of the room, the glow barely reaching the two boys.  
Tyler bit back a sob as a boot was forced against his stomach, the brunette’s lidded eyes flying open. A man loomed above him and he began to tremble again, breaths suddenly growing heavier as he felt around weakly. His wrists were chained and his arms hung at his sides, body slumped against the ground. The man in front of him was heavy, stomach sticking out and limbs flabby. His face was covered in unhealthy skin that looked like it could be peeled off, partnered with a broad, thick nose that had an unnaturally thick arch. He had unkempt, gray hair and a knotty beard that clumped the hairs to each other. He wore a tank top and shorts that clung to his loose skin with sweat and other liquids and messes the singer would rather not think too far into. Their captor spoke up with a belly laugh that only made his heart pound inside his chest with terror. 

“So! You guys are some kind of hot shots, huh?”

The mocking tone sent a new wave of disgust through the band mates bodies.  
“Twenty One Pilots.”

The name that slipped off his tongue didn’t belong on such a disgusting excuse for a human being’s lips.  
Josh snapped quickly, voice raising into a shout that made Tyler recoil against the wall his arms were chained to, chocolate eyes widening and glazing over in panic. “Don’t say tha-!”

The tables completely turned as the click of a gun echoed through the room, the man swiveling from in front of Tyler to taking a step towards Josh. “Or what!?”

Tyler began sobbing, shaking his head frantically as Josh hesitated, opening his mouth to retort. The drummer averted his gaze, face softening into a look of concern as his best friend sobbed next to him, shaking his head and whimpering small pleas of ‘don’t, please, don’t’.

The voice continued to tease, laughter lingering heavily in the air and choking the two as he waved the pistol in front of Josh’s face. Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, entire body trembling.  
“Or what!? Huh, Joshua Dun? What was that!?”

Josh was silent. The man drew his other hand back and the sound of a hand meeting skin echoed through the room with a dull ring. Tyler didn't dare look back up. Josh hissed, ducking his head, cheek burning.

“I said or what!? What would you do!? Huh?”

Josh took a final side glance at Tyler who’s eyes were squeezed shut with tears rolling down his cheeks. “Nothing…” he mumbled, giving the man his sick pleasure as their captor chortled.

“That’s what I thought.”

The sound of boots retreated and paused at the cement doorway. Tyler’s trembling breaths were the only thing that could be heard for a moment before the man chuckled.

“Your friends aren’t going to find you. See you boys in the morning.”

The lights turned off and the boys were engrossed in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was interesting. I'm not quite as content with the part with the boys, but I'm working on it. I hope you guys enjoyed! Things will be getting much more intense later, so read carefully in the next couple chapters!


	4. But I am petrified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for flashbacks of how they got captured and some offensive slurs.
> 
> It's dark.

_ The two strolled down the sidewalk, Tyler already bursting into fits of laughter as he hit Josh’s elbow, causing his ice cream to lurch up in his hands and smear on his nose. He almost dropped his own cone as he threw his head back with laughter, but quickly scrambled to hold it securely with both hands. _

_ Josh’s face screwed up, a humorous scowl on his face before he glanced at Tyler with a chuckle. “Dude, I’m gonna keep it.” _

 

_ Tyler drew back in surprise, brows arching as he snorted. “pfft- Why?” _ __  
  


_ “It moisturizes my nose.” _

 

_ That was enough for Tyler to double over in laughter, his fits of giggles causing his shoulders to shake and his eyes to squint, smile beaming. Josh loved making Tyler laugh, but of course Tyler had to find a way to make Josh laugh in return. But deciding that he would smear some of the ice cream on his cheeks and rub the cold treat on his face, probably wasn’t his greatest ideas. Though as he spread it across his cheeks with the initial bite of skin to the cool dessert fading, Tyler murmured, “it’s not working.” _

_ And for whatever reason, that sent Josh into a frenzy of giggles, the drummer leaning his weight on Tyler as they erupted into a fit of laughter. Fishing his hand into his pocket, Josh had pulled out the keys, swinging them around his index finger as they walked, still smiling. _

_ They were doing fine until they notice a van, long and gray, was parked in front of their car. _

 

_ Tyler, of course with a moment of fear looked over at Josh, smile dropping from his lips. _

 

_ Josh gently pulled them closer towards the building wall they were walking by, eyeing the wide open back doors. Josh lowered his voice to a whisper, leaning closer to the singer’s ear as they stuck to the wall. “Tyler…” _

 

_ The brunette glanced at Josh, eyes wide with fear. _

 

_ “Josh… We should just turn around.” _

 

_ The drummer smiled, but his eyes burned protectively, nodding and grabbing the brunette’s arm, only urging him to follow as they both swiveled around, hurriedly walking back in the direction towards the ice cream parlor. _

_ Tyler regretted not looking back, because the moment he heard soles of worn shoes sliding right behind them, he was engrossed in darkness, breaths already growing short as he was forced back in one sudden jerk of motion. The tightness of the bag over his head was already strangling him. Stumbling over his feet, the brunette felt the world spin beneath him as he collapsed on the sidewalk, head slamming against the concrete. The sound of a struggle next to him was loud, and through the grunts and shouts, he heard Josh bark. “Get the fuck off me-” before Tyler heard a dull crack, like a fist meeting someone’s jaw. It fell silent and the sound of a body slid to the ground with a harsh thud, someone’s breathing heavy as they recollected themselves. _

 

_ Tyler felt momentary faith as hands reached around his waist, but quickly recognized this wasn’t Josh. Letting out a scream, Tyler thrashed as he was grabbed against their chest, holding him so tightly he could barely choke out a breath. “STOP! PLEASE!” His thrashing quickly became squirms for breath, sputtering out small gasps and yelps until he was thrown to the ground, gratefully swallowing in each breath of air that he had inhaled mere moments ago. Well, this wasn’t concrete kind of ground, it didn’t feel like it. It was more like a rough blanket on top of a sheet of metal. Attempting to curl in on himself, Tyler let out a shriek as he felt rough, dry hands grasp his wrists, pulling him up. Still completely blinded by the bag over his head, the small space around his head had already grown in temperature and he was barely able to breath. The sound of duct tape stretched and he felt the material wrap around his exposed forearms, clinging to his skin as the man wrapped around his wrists at least four times. Tyler, still gasping and letting out loud cries, was shoved to the floor, the man now reaching down to his legs, wrapping his ankles with duct tape as well. _

_ Lying there with small sniffles, Tyler felt a rough hand grab his hip, the other sliding beneath his shirt. The man’s skin was dry and callused, so the feeling of that against his own soft, plush skin was almost physically painful. Blood going cold, the brunette sucked in a breath, entire body trembling as a sob slipped from his lips. “please, please stop-” _

 

_ A voice, not exactly deep but worn and gravelly snapped next to his ear, the man’s breath cold against his neck. “Shut the fuck up.” _

 

_ Sweat and moisture from his breaths matted his hair to his skin beneath the bag, his mouth going dry even in the physical circumstances. _

 

_ “Uugh..” _

 

_ Josh. _

_ He was almost glad for a moment, relief washing over him that there was still a chance. That was, until their captor’s hand retracted from beneath his shirt and heavy steps rushed towards where Josh stirred. There was a thud, the shuffle of clothes, and a body landed next to him moments later. The familiar stretch and tear of duct tape rung in his ears as Josh was bound as well. Tyler felt the bag tear from off his head, eyes flying open as he swallowed in each breath desperately. The man looming over him was just a silhouette, but he looked heavyset and if Tyler was going to be honest, very intimidating. A hand pressed on his thigh and Tyler trembled, tears forming as the man chuckled. _

_ “We’ll continue what we started tomorrow, faggot.” _

 

_ The man drew back his hand and Tyler squeezed his eyes shut. _

 

_ His cheek stung and his head was swam for a moment before his limbs gave out, vision faded, and he fell unconscious. _

 

\--

 

Waking with a start, Tyler sucked in a breath as he felt fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

Tyler could basically feel Josh next to him.

Feeling each time his best friend squirmed, grunted, or exhaled in the darkness of the room. Like each noise shifted the entire atmosphere.

Tyler didn't have the voice to speak, irrational fears plaguing his mind to the point that Tyler was lost in his own mind, trembling and the shackles around his wrists clattered as he shook uncontrollably. Josh sucked in a breath, breaking Tyler away from his thoughts and the brunette felt the words that Josh had in the back of his throat in the air.

 

“Tyler.. You here?”

 

The brunette could have died there, content with hearing his name roll off Josh’s tongue one last time. Instead, he raised his head to face the source of the voice, gazing into the darkness helplessly.

 

Tyler croaked. “Yeah.”

 

“...”

 

Tyler felt his shoulders tremble as it went silent, voice raising in pitch as he whimpered, “J-Josh?”

 

“... ‘m here.” Relief washed over Tyler for a moment, but his heart caught in his throat as Josh continued. “Just… Wished you weren't.”

His moment of comfort, that felt like gentle hugs and warm eyes and adoring smiles, was then replaced with guilt that sat heavily in the back of his throat and left him gasping for air. He ducked his head, eyes welling with tears as he processed his selfish thoughts, bottom lip trembling.

 

“I.. wouldn't want you to be alone..” Tyler breathed, voice failing him.

 

_ No. YOU wouldn't want to be alone. _

 

Josh paused, the brittleness in the drummer’s voice nearly sending Tyler into a fit of sobs. “I’d rather be, if it meant keeping you safe.”

 

Tyler went silent, entire body feeling suddenly cold as he shivered.

 

“Josh..”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Tyler shifted his body, feet extending into the darkness hesitantly.

 

“Can you touch me..?” Tyler’s voice broke as he whispered that simple request, tears now rolling down his cheeks. “I just want to know that you’re real. That you’re here.”

The sound of jeans shifting against concrete and the rattle of Josh’s restraints echoed through the room. Flinching as he felt something make contact with his legs, Tyler relaxed as Josh whispered, “that’s me.”

The two slung their legs over each other's, both in uncomfortable sitting positions just to reach each other.

they fell into a heavy silence for almost ten minutes, the air growing thicker at each breath.

 

“Thank you.” Tyler exhaled, recollecting himself at a steady pace. He could almost hear the gentle smile in Josh’s voice.

  
“It’s nothin’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided I would, instead of being ignorant, watch documentaries and read articles of tortures people endured and I both regret and feel much more informed about writing this. It was an emotional roller coaster, reading and watching people discussing the methods used to inflict so much pain.  
> This entire story has been a huge impact on me and to be honest I've cried at least twice while researching for this stuff, but I want to be able to convey how real this situation is.  
> I hope you guys enjoyed. Stay alive, friends. |-/


	5. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is mostly just things going terribly wrong.
> 
> Warning for abuse/torture and rape/non-con threats

They sat awake like last night, and the night before. Their legs tangled, eyes wide open.

 

It’s been two nights since their captor came back.

 

Tyler gazed into the darkest corner of the room, and it stared back for hours on end. He decided, in that time, that he was coming to terms with his fears. Their cage looming over him, the wall’s gaze pitiful as if mocking him that he was mere feet from his escape, but couldn’t reach it as he felt his restrains rub against his wrists.

Heaving his chest in a shaking breath, Tyler tilted back his head and tried to fix his gaze on the ceiling to distract himself from the burning in his throat. He preferred the numbness under his skin that crawled behind his eyes over the idea of reliving the fear of that man, hands running under his shirt. At the mere thought, his teary eyes fluttered, lashes brushing his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to chase away the memory of harsh skin brushing against his, unwelcome fingers trailing up his abdomen and hitching his shirt up. It made him want to vomit.

 

_He’s going to fuck you when he comes back. Tsk, tsk. Look what you’ve done to yourself._

 

Breathy whispers rung in his ears.

 

_And you’re just going to take it. You can’t do anything. A shame._

 

The singer only clenched his fists, entire body trembling. His subconscious had always been able to terrorize his deepest fears, knowing his mind from the inside out. Abusing and prodding at the tender parts of his brain, having set him off into a frenzy of tears countless nights that ended with Josh scrambling to his bunk, carding his fingers through his best friend’s hair, breathing small encouragements on top of his head, holding Tyler against his chest until the singer fell back asleep and tears still stung on Josh’s chest.

Taking a sharp inhale, Tyler’s body went rigid as he heard the muffled tap of boots.

 

“Josh.” Tyler whimpered.

 

“Tyler, I-I can take care of this.” Josh’s voice was heavy with unease, even a twinge of terror in the back of his throat as he reassured his best friend.

The steps became louder until they echoed inside the room, their captors presence lingering heavily in the air to the point it was almost suffocating, until that same light flickering on in the far corner of the room. “So!” the man sounded cheery, clapping his hands together, even accompanied with a small smile playing on his lips. “How was your break? We’re goin’ to finish what we started, huh? That sound good, _Tyler Joseph_?”

 

Tyler trembled, glancing at Josh who, rightfully so, looked enraged. Watching as Josh's chapped lips parted, his voice was barely above a whisper, "You're disgusting."

The man's head snapped to look Josh directly in the eyes and Tyler went pale from the look of pure feral rage in their captor's orbs. Josh struggled to hold the intimidating eye contact, having shrunk against the wall with heavy bags beneath his eyes, the drummer was helpless but held his ground.

 

"What did you just say?"

 

Josh looked utterly terrified, those mocha orbs pale but he squared his shoulders, voice raw as he gazed back defiantly with whatever courage remained in his voice. "I said you're disgusting."

 

The man glowered, gaze lingering momentarily on Tyler for a moment before he sauntered over to Josh, each step painstakingly slow and heavy, the soles of his shoes heavy against the ground. "I'm disgusting?" His voice became gravelly, voice low and worn. The man was now in front of Josh, looming over the drummer, arms behind his back as he degraded the drummer just with his eyes. Josh looked small compared to their captor, curled against the wall but his own eyes were ablaze.

"I'M DISGUSTING!?" The sudden bellow made Tyler flinch away violently and Josh sputtered out a yelp, the man grabbing the collar of his shirt, jerking him up to eye level even as his restrains protested against his skin. The drummer gasped as his arms twisted behind his back, face screwing up and teeth gritting as his breaths became shallow. The man gazed down at Josh and held him a moment longer before releasing him from his grasp, dropping him to the floor with a dull thud. The drummer collapsed on his knees as he doubled over on the floor, forehead pressing to the cold concrete. A sudden thud echoed through the room. Body jerking back, but his restraints keeping him in place, Josh clenched his teeth as he bit back a scream.

Another kick. And another. And another.

 

They came unexpectedly, each blow more violent than the last.

 

Gasping and sputtering between each kick to his ribs, a particularly harsh blow sent a wave of white hot pain through his entire body and something snapped beneath the pressure of the blows. Josh let out a scream, tears welling as he slouched over only able to try to curl in on himself as the man moved to his back, the heel of his shoe slamming between his shoulder blades over and over. “AM I DISGUSTING!?” the man hollered, only earning another cry from Josh as his ribs protested against the pressure of the relentless blows to his back. The drummer sobbed and shook his head, chanting quietly beneath his breath. “No, no, no…”

 

Arms stretching uncomfortably, Josh lay there, expecting another blow to his body, but none came.

 

"Good boy."

 

The light flickered off, silence and retreating steps following. It took an hour for the drummer to attempt to strain his body in an attempt to sit back but it only forced more tears from his eyes, his ribs and back screaming at each movement. Adrenaline fading, leaving him with a painful aching and burning in his chest and back, Josh slowly became conscious of the sound of Tyler’s restraints clanking as he trembled.

 

“Josh, please stop. Please, please..” Tyler’s voice broke as he whimpered, sobs and gasps filling the room. “Please stop doing this for me. Please..”

“I don’t want you to hurt anymore.. Please, I can-  I can take it..”

 

Josh grunted in response, words coming out weak and raspy. “No.” the drummer shifted next to him with a sharp inhale, voice muffled. “ ‘m not goin’ to let you..”

 

Tyler fell silent for a moment before his sobs resumed.

 

Josh listened to the quiet, frail noises of his best friend crying next to him.

He just wanted to hold Tyler.

 

  
The drummer fell unconscious to sniffles and whimpers and cold concrete and fantasizing about holding his best friend one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't come out as detailed as I wanted, but I wanted to get an update out because school started and all.  
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!


	6. Stop it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR IMPLIED RAPE/NON-CON at the end.

Five.

Tyler counted the hours, added them up, and had come to the conclusion it had only been five days since this whole thing happened.

Their captor had come in on the third day with two cups of warm water. He had forcefully tilted Tyler’s head back, and the singer put up a momentary struggle before he melted into gratefully swallowing the water with such desperation his face burned with embarrassment. But the man continued to tilt the cup back further until Tyler couldn't keep up with it, the water spilling over the outside of his lips, down his chin, over his dirties clothes. He sputtered helplessly as the man’s face screwed up.  
“Fucking ungrateful _bitch_.” he had spat, splashing the remaining water at the bottom of the cup on Tyler, soaking his hair and chest, matting his hair to his skin as he shivered. The thin, plastic cup was crushed and thrown at the brunette who winced at the contact, curling back against the wall.  
But their captor wasn’t as gentle with Josh.  
He grabbed the drummer’s hair harshly, turning his face to watch as the man cruelly spilled the water in front of Josh’s eyes. The drummer's eyes welled with tears as he helplessly watched each drop hit the concrete in front of him and none met his lips. He didn’t make a noise as the man shoved his head away in distaste, shucking the cup aside as he walked out.

On the fourth day their captor tried to force his way in Tyler’s still damp pants, grasping the seams of his jeans and tugging violently on them. Josh had immediately began shouting, voice hoarse as he screamed curses at the man until their captor decided that forcing Josh against the wall and slamming his foot against the drummer’s stomach gained less of a struggle. But it sent Tyler into a frenzy of loud screams and thrashes as Josh spat up blood and bile, the drummer sobbing as he tried to cover himself from the onslaught of kicks.

The fifth day was quiet.  
It was nearing the end of the day, when the distant glow of oranges and reds faded into blacks in the doorway. The door that Tyler assumed was just down the hall from their room, the closest thing to fresh air and sunlight, had been opened hours ago. The sound of a thud just outside the door startled Tyler from his dazed state.The sound was heavy and muffled. The brunette pressed his body against the wall even as it scratched up his back leaving the skin to sting and burn. The sound passed. It sounded like a trash bag full of rocks wrapped inside a tarp, and it was being dragged past the door and up a flight of concrete stairs, just by the way each time it rose a step with a painful dragging noise, then there was this dull thunk. thunk. thunk.  
The revving of an old engine vibrated above them, and the muffled popping sound of tires rolling over gravel faded until they were left in complete silence.

"Josh. He's gone."

The drummer didn't respond.

"Josh..?"

Silence.

"Josh?" His voice became shrill, struggling against his restraints as he leaned into the darkness, feeling around with his feet until he hit something. There was a yelp and dry sputters for breath, the gasps rigid and panicky and the sound of Josh's body slamming against the wall with a shriek of pain.

"Oh my god, Josh-"

" _STOP_!" The scream rung in his ears and Tyler felt so pathetic as he felt tears well in his eyes as he flinched away.

"Josh- hey, Josh! I-It's me."

The breathing hitched for a second and Tyler swore he could fall apart, shattering into little pieces right then and there when he heard a whine and a sob.

"No, no, no, Josh. Listen to me. Y-You're okay."

The drummer cried, the sobs hoarse and sore and it tore Tyler apart piece by piece, like he could feel small strings of his heart being plucked off.

"Josh, please. Listen, listen I'm here. Shh, hey, I'm right here."

Tyler felt tears slipping down his cheeks, wet and warm against his skin. There was a momentary pause until Tyler felt a foot hesitantly touch his leg, the drummer flinched away but Tyler whispered, "that's me."

It took a bit of adjusting, but Tyler and Josh had their legs tangled and the sobs that emitted from Josh had quieted to dry breathing, each inhale sharp and shallow.

"Josh?"

"Can't." The drummer rasped. "Can't talk."

"I-I'm sorry." Tyler heard Josh hum, a noise he knew came with Josh shaking his head in response, even though he couldn't see it, he knew.

"You talk."

"About what?"

"Everything."

Tyler sat against the wall, head lolling back as he let his eyes flutter shut and he thought. About everything. And it was difficult to recollect after everything that's happened.  
"Well... We did it." He felt a poor excuse for a smile bloom on his lips, "MSG was a month ago. Remember that?" Tyler breathed a laugh, breath hitching as he felt tears form but he heard Josh exhale a shallow chuckle.

"That was fun. Remember when I made the deleted scene joke? Good stuff." He felt the tears brim his eyes but he smiled gently, lashes fluttering as he tried to blink back tears.  
"'He's the love of my life.' The clique is never gonna let that go." The air lingered with quiet laughs, reliving the memory in the back of their minds just for a brief moment of euphoria.

"Hey. Remember when we played our first song together?" Tyler had so recollect himself as he laughed gently. "We- okay, okay."  
Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself, a wide smile still on his lips and the room lit up with such light air and just for this moment the room wasn't so shallow and cold.

"So when we sat down and talked, you were all 'Puppy-Josh'. Brunette, never shaved, all wild hair and excited eyes. It was cute. But then you became 'Josh-Josh'. When you played, I mean. It was really great, seeing you like that. All I'd done before then was talk about music with you. Our favorite bands, songs, but we never really got intimate about it until you dragged me into your parents basement and _slaughtered_ your drum kit right in front of me."

Josh let out a soft laugh that sputtered into coughs and gags. Tyler faltered, quietly murmuring, "are you okay?"

"Mhm."

Nervously gnawing on his lip, Tyler breathed and nodded. "Ah- so you were playing and it was electric. You put your entire body into it, like nothing I've ever seen. You still had hesitation behind all that passion, I remember seeing your eyes shooting over to me and when you saw me staring you'd stop bouncing around. You were scared that I wouldn't feel what you felt, weren't you?"

There was silence but Tyler felt the small nod in the air.

"But god, I was amazed." Tyler exhaled softly, a smile on his lips. "You were so beautiful, as a soul and as a person. You spilled your heart out, everything I'll never know about you was thrown all over those drums, man. Everything you felt, experienced, suffered through.. that lead up to that moment."  
The brunette chewed on the inside of his lip. "I- And I was just there watching it all. You know? I got to experience you."

There was a lingering silence in the air. Josh's breaths steadied and he murmured. "You too. Amazing."

And those words meant so much to Tyler. Sniffling, he laughed as he felt the warmth of tears return to his already wet cheeks.

"Don't cry." Josh pleaded, voice raw.

"I-I'm sorry.. That was just... That meant a lot, Josh. I-" Voice hitching in the back of his throat, Tyler stiffened and he felt Josh begin to shake next to him.

"Josh. Foot steps." That was their cue to fall completely silent and hope beyond all hope they would pass, move past to whatever other duties called in other rundown, rotting prison-like rooms.  
But they didn't. Tyler felt dread settle in his stomach, mouth going dry. The boots trailed slowly into the room, as if trying to make his presence quiet but dangerous and Tyler trembled at the mere thought of seeing those hungry, wild eyes again. The light turned on and Tyler squinted.

" _Tyler Joseph_."

The voice was mocking him with a hum, his name foreign, tasting like blood on their captors tongue.

"Please. Don't." He barely could raise his voice above a whisper around this man, eyes lowered to his legs that were pressed tightly together.

"You've been in those _yucky_ clothes for way too long." Tyler wanted to vomit. "You're going to strip. How does that sound?"

Tyler shook his head, face burning as he sobbed, feeling completely pathetic as he flinched away from the man who reached for his hands.  
"Please-" his voice broke, the brunette sobbing hysterically, "I don't wanna.. Please don't make me.. Please, please.."

The restraints were released from around his wrists and Tyler's arms fell. His skin was scattered with dark red sores and his fingers were barely able to curl as he groped at air, the newfound feeling of his arms finally given freedom sent a shock of adrenaline through his veins. He could fight.

_Do it._

His hope deflated as soon as those words rung in his ears.

_He's still gonna fuck you. What? You wanna make him mad? He'll tear you apart. Limb by limb. How pathetic._

"Stop..." He whimpered, ears ringing. It was high pitched, the noise blocking out everything around him as he cried. Bringing his cold fingers up to his ears he shook his head, sobbing as he curled in on himself.

_You can't even fight back. Josh could probably pull it off better than you and he hasn't even had water in 4 days. He'll probably die anyways. He's probably scared to tell you his body is shutting down. Isn't it the liver that shuts down first? A shame, really._

"Stop.. Stop..." He heard muffled shouts through his ringing ears, head shaking violently as he was prodded, shoved, grabbed at.  
The last straw that jerked him back to reality was when he felt rough fingers dig into his scalp, eyes flying open as the man tugged his hair so violently he was thrown face first into the concrete, cheek aching as his lungs felt like they were being crushed.

"I said strip."

Tears welling in his eyes, Tyler shook his head and sobbed. "Please, please I don't wanna-" his pleading was ignored as the man tugged at the roots of his hair.

"You don't have a fucking choice."

Tyler stifled a sob as he sorely picked himself up, legs weak as he tried to stand. Shaking as he leaned himself against the wall, Tyler grabbed the bottom of his shirt that stuck to his skin with vomit and sweat.

"Mmm, no. Middle of the room. In front of the light, right there." The man pointed to a spot in the room and Tyler's eyes shot nervously to their captor, avoiding Josh's gaze he felt so obviously on him.  
He was probably so mad. So mad Tyler was giving in like this. Tyler wanted him to be angry at him for this.

Stumbling as he shuffled to the spot, Tyler stood there, knees ready to buckle and fingers digging into the bottom of his tank top, fisting the damp material between his fingers, eyes drawn, face pale.  
The man stepped in front of him, looming over the singer with his teeth bared into a feral smile.

"Go."

Tyler hesitated, dropping his eyes to the floor as he pulled the shirt lower over his body, trying his best to keep himself covered. His cheek stung and he stumbled, landing hard on his back with a sharp yelp.

"I said GO."

Grabbing Tyler's forearm in an aching grip, the man pulled Tyler back to his feet. The singer felt his entire body tremble as he recollected himself, barely able to keep his legs from buckling beneath him. Tears slipped down his cheeks as his sore arms slipped the tank top over his head, holding it against his chest for a moment before hesitantly letting it fall the floor.  
Seeing the man nod impatiently again, Tyler's fingers slowly reached to his jeans. Struggled with the buttons, Tyler's hands shook uncontrollably and he couldn't help the tears that blurred his vision. He eventually began to slide them off his thighs, kicking them off his feet, averting shameful eyes.  
He felt so pathetic as the man grabbed the sides of his head, almost wrapping his fingers around Tyler's throat. He felt bile rise in the back of his throat, gaging quietly as the man's cold breaths fanned across his face.  
"You're not done yet."

Tyler's throat tightened, shying away from the man's hands, but the grip only grew tighter as he tried to wriggle away.

"Take them off."

Tyler shook his head, sobbing as fingers dug into his scalp. "Please," he hiccuped, "don't, please don't.."

The man growled, landing another strike to his cheek and his face exploded into white hot pain. Back hitting the wall, Tyler helplessly slid down the rough concrete as his vision swam, grappling for leverage.

A single hand grasped Tyler's bicep and spun him around, pressing his face against the wall as he sobbed, writhing against the grip that only tightened at each squirm. "Please, please, I-I'll do anything! Just- not this, please!" He wailed, tears rolling down his cheeks.

The man grabbed the seams of his boxers and shoved them down. Face burning, Tyler's embarrassment fueled his panic and tears as his entire body was seized and he screamed, voice high as he writhed against the grasp. Fists pounding against the man's back, Tyler's elbow managed to hit the back of their captor's head. Earning a snarl and a grunt from the hit, Tyler felt himself scramble for purchase on the man's shirt and skin as he was thrown back to the ground where he was chained before. Body slamming against the ground, a dull ache and screaming of muscles shot through his entire body as he slumped forward in that position. Tears blurring his vision, Tyler still felt as fingers wrapped around his wrists in a bruising grip and the restraints were reattached to his arms, the brunette barely able to put up a fight as the man stepped back as if to admire his project.

Tyler's eyes dropped in exhaustion, all too aware of Josh's gaze next to him. The drummer wasn't mad, Tyler could tell that much at the pale eyed, dry mouthed expression on Josh's face. Tyler could only hope one plea, one agreement could hold off the inevitable.

"Sir.." His voice was weak, distant as he tried his best to get the man's full attention.

"Hm?" The hum was interested and when Tyler's yes momentarily glanced up at the man he realized it was more than just amusement, it was arousal. Eyes welling back with tears, the singer's voice a whisper. "Sir, if you give Josh water I-I'll do anything."

There was a pause and Tyler felt the man's gaze flicker between the two miserable figures. Their captor smirked, voice raspy as he chuckled, "Okay, but you're calling me sir from now on."

Tyler wanted to vomit, but he nodded hesitantly as he heard way too loose jeans drop to the floor in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated lately literally had this all written down I just didn't clean it up a bit.


	7. I took some food for thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It might be poisoned.
> 
> No triggers/warnings for this chapter. It's all mostly Mark's POV.

The buzz of reporters, news anchors, cameras, everything, was surely overwhelming to Mark.

Usually being the one behind the camera, Mark's eyes darted everywhere as microphones and phones were shoved in his face.  
Most of the words, all but a few, were slurred together in the frantic shouting to get his attention.

"Sir!" Mark laughed internally, recognizing the fact they didn't know him name. Which he didn't mind, but felt that proper amount of inspiration to make a sarcastic remark. But, now wasn't exactly the time, so he kept his mouth shut as he shouldered his way through the swarm of media.

The questions were consistent, the same, as if it was some kind of chant each reporter had discussed to say in unison the moment he walked out the cafe doors.

"What happened to Tyler and Josh?"  
"Where's Tyler and Josh?"  
"Do you know where they are?"

He had no response to all these questions and it resonated in his chest with a dull ache of guilt.

But let's not forget his favorite, "What's going to happen to their tour?"

Admittedly, he has terrible coping mechanisms so the moment he scoffed, exhaling a brief laugh, the crowd blew up as if excited they got a reaction besides a palm to push them aside or a shrug.

Following him briefly as he walked past them, Mark's heart stopped and every word that echoed in his ears was silenced. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he scrambled to grab it, fingers shaking. The caller ID was Jenna. She had stayed at the police station, vigilant for the past two nights only leaving when she had to take a shower and stretch out. The swarm of people that were still on his heels were brushed away as he briskly swerved into a nearby bathroom, closing the door behind him. Answering it, Mark dove straight into questions.

"Did they tell you anything?"

There was a brief pause and a sniffle. Mark's stomach twisted but he quickly grappled for hope that this could be good news.

"What'd they find out, Jenna? Talk to me, _please_."

The sound of shifting clothes and sniffles made Mark shiver as she croaked. "They were kidnapped."

Mark gaped, not recognizing the fact he was mouthing the word, "no, no, no..."

"Mark..." Her voice broke, "they can't find _anything_ outside of that information. Mark, I-I can't do this."

Mark's panicked expression shifted to lidded, teary eyes as he grit his teeth, "Are they even _trying_?"

Jenna's voice was raspy as she whimpered, "what if we're too late..?"

Mark trembled at the thought of finding their bodies, cold in a basement, dropped behind a dumpster, or abandoned in a forest. Taking a sharp inhale, Mark shook his head. "No."

Jenna fell silent for a moment, "but-"

"We're going to find them."

Jenna went quiet, voice so frail that Mark already felt her slipping away. "I'll see you later, Mark."

"Good night." He murmured.

No response. Click.  
Sliding down the door, Mark dropped his phone in his lap and cried. Burying his face in his hands, his shoulders shook as he wracked out sob after sob.

  
\--

  
Four weeks.

Four weeks and _nothing_.

Jenna fell silent, disappearing on the second week. She cracked underneath the pressure, crying hysterically into the phone at two in the morning as Mark tried to convince her to stay strong, knowing deep down he was trying to keep her there for his own mental stability.

But he lost her, and he was alone.

 

Mark had made his residence in Tyler's old bedroom at the brunette's parents house for the afternoon. He sat in the middle of the bed, legs crossed and eyes glued on one single string of the comforter that stuck out of the quilt. Hugging the pillow to his chest, Mark hadn't moved an inch for the past two hours.

"Mark, honey?" There was a rapping on the door and Mark winced as it squealed open, door hinges groaning in protest.

Afraid to use his own voice, he instead rose his gaze to glance at Tyler's mother, who stood there with two cups of tea in her hands. Hesitantly she stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, extending one of the warm mugs of tea. Gratefully taking it with a nod, Mark sipped on it as he cupped his hands around each side of the cup. The silence was tense and Mark felt the questions and words in her throat slip into the air long before she even asked them.

"Mark, I want to talk to you."

His heart nearly crippled inside his chest as he rose pale eyes, croaking out a small, "okay."

She smile generously, but to Mark it looked more like pity. "What have the police told you?"

Mark's mouth went dry as he rasped, "nothing."

Mrs. Joseph's gaze lingered on him and he knew he lied through his teeth. He only knew so much in the first place, but the little amount of information he knew was swallowing him whole knowing he couldn't do anything to help.

"Mark... I need to know."

Mark sniffled, tears threatening to spill. "They..." His voice broke, "they were kidnapped. Five weeks and two days ago. I-I'm so sorry for not telling you, it's-"

There was a small gasp and he knew he'd messed up, but Mrs. Joseph quietly spoke, as if to a child, "Mark."

"It's my fault. I let them go out on their own, I-" he was stumbling over his own words as they spilled from his lips.

"Mark... stop." Mrs. Joseph was smiling, the upturn of her lips looked forced, painful on her features and her eyes began to water. She rested a hand on his back, swallowing as she breathed shakily, "It was nice having you over, b-but I think you should go home. Get some rest."

Mark knew what she would do after he walked out the front door. She would close it, sink to her knees and cry. But he acted like he didn't know the inevitable, and nodded gently, handing the remaining tea in the mug to her.

".. T-Thank you for having me, Mrs. Joseph." He mentally cursed himself for stuttering as they stood from the bed. Tyler's room still looked untouched, trophies, metals, drawers, everything perfectly in place. Voice breaking as he barely whispered, Mark smiled with false hope and he hated how he lied through his teeth again to Mrs. Joseph, "We'll find them."

It was silent as they walked down the stairs and through the familiar living room until Mark was face to face with the front door.  
Her voice faltered as she chirped, a look of gentleness masking the tears that were already forming, "Thank you, Mark. It was a pleasure having you."

The door swung open and Mark stepped out, not daring to look back as he scurried to his car. Jumping in the drivers seat, Mark's hands trembled as he waited to see the front door close.

The moment it slipped closed and Mrs. Joseph disappeared from his view, the two, separated between the comfort of home and car, let the tears fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It physically pained me to write Mark crying. He's just so wholesome he doesn't deserve this why am I making him suffer?
> 
> Anyways, the next 2 chapters are probably going to be the most intense. Lot of stuff going to go down. Be careful, guys.


	8. Seal your fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of the triggers in the tags, read carefully PLEASE. Stay safe, friendos.

Tyler's chest heaved wildly, eyes squeezed shut, teeth gritting. His face was wet with fading tears, screwed up in an expression of agony as blood, sweat, cum, and a particular thrum of soreness spread down his hips and thighs. He didn’t dare squirm, speak or make a single noise. His body was flipped so his back hit the wall, biting back a yelp at the force as he was once again cuffed to the wall.

“You'll get your food tomorrow, _whore_."

The wry tone seared in the back of Tyler's mind and fresh tears threatened to spill. The flaking cuffs rubbed against the raw, exposed skin of Tyler's wrists and he winced at the contact, tears already dried. The man landed a final slap to Tyler's thin face before he padded away proudly. The lights in the new cell remained on and the door swung shut with a harsh slam, causing the brunette to flinch as the sound rung in his ears. His hips still ached and sometimes as he stirred from unconsciousness during exhausting nights like these, he swore he could still feel the harsh hands dig into his skin. He shivered at the mere through, fluttering his eyes closed as the tears wet along his eyes but refused to fall.

It’s usually another day before the man comes back to do anything. So for another twenty or less hours it was just himself, the darkness, the repulsive, muggy air, his subconscious, and an unhealthy amount of self loathing.

An entire week he’d been without Josh and he was engrossed in everything terrifying, everything that could tear him apart as much as their captor had already done to his physical body. The bruises, swelling, sores, they compared unlike nothing to the unraveling of his own mind. So he sat there with a blank stare resting on his shivering legs, eyes stinging with obvious tears. Unconsciousness didn't seem near, so Tyler distracted himself with his surroundings. The floor was cold, cold like the type on concrete after a storm, the rain dried but temperature still clinging as it was frigid to the touch. The type where if you laid down in the middle of the asphalt at the early hours of the morning, it would send a shiver down your spine. But this floor, scattered with the mixture of all things disgusting and inhumane, wasn't dried after rain gathered on it, wasn't cold, didn't sent laughter from the back of his throat as he laid on it with his best friend. It only made him utterly terrified of how much longer until he'd finally die.  
As much as he wanted relief from this pain, the aching, his entire body igniting into white hot pain at the same time as it shivered from the frigid touch of bare skin against cold walls, Tyler was terrified of dying.  
He most definitely craved the relief, the final end to this whole situation that Tyler somehow managed to convince himself was his fault, and that he rightfully deserved this. But he was horrified of the thought he couldn't play one more show, sing one more song, hold Josh one more time.

 

_Greedy. Childish. Craving things you can't ever achieve, Tyler._

 

Tyler winced at the thought that slurred together in the back of his mind, words forming and contorting until he could make out the thought, the words his subconscious created to entertain his mind in the most brutal of ways.

No, focus on the room.  
Tyler's mind made a quick diversion to the scent and the singer almost vomited. It smelled like a mixture of waste, vomit, the iron stench of blood, and like someone had died in here, which terrified him to think that someone had and he wouldn't be the last to. He wheezed, lurching forward as far as his restraints would allow as he dry heaved, throat tightening and convulsing so painfully to the point Tyler tasted blood. Gagging and sputtering, Tyler managed to lurch up blood and bile in front of himself, a small string of red saliva hanging from his busted lip as he watched it splatter on the concrete. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he tried to spit the remains from his mouth. Eyes shutting for just a moment as he tried to recollect himself, the thoughts swept back in and held its ground on his mind, clinging to his brain and covering his eyes.

 

_Very selfish of you, Tyler Joseph. Not even wishing for your friends health? His, wellbeing? You just crave his touch? Not his ability to escape? To live a life beyond just you?_

 

Tyler snuffled, the back of his throat burning with the taste of bile and whatever food managed to linger in his stomach after what he just choked out.

 

_Oh, silly me! Of course that's what you desire! Something that would only benefit you, what else would you want? To die before Josh just so you're not ALONE!?_

_SO WHEN YOU DIE, HE SUFFERS, SEEING YOUR LIFE FADI NGAWAY_

_BUT YOU.Y OU._

_YOU DON' TWANT TOBE ALONE._

_ISNT TH ATRIGHT TYLE R?_

 

Tyler bit back a scream that had begun to build up in the back of his throat as his mind rattled, thoughts growing in volume and pitch until it was a high pitched ringing in his ears and he was desperately fighting against his restraints, trying to claw at his ears.

 

_SCREAM._

_SC REAM ANDSEE WHERE_

_TH ATGETS YOU, TYLER._

_DOIT. SCR EAM_

 

And Tyler did.

His lips twitched as as tried to choke back the noise that rose in the back of his throat but he cracked, shattering into little pieces right then and there as he let out a bloodcurdling scream.  
It was only mere moments before the door swung open with a crash and the man stood in the doorway, eyes wild with rage as he fumed.

 

"What the _fuck_ are you doing!?"

But Tyler wasn't listening, he sobbed loudly, garbling out pleas as he struggled violently against his restraints, tears streaming down his cheeks as he wailed.

"Shut the fuck up!" The man snarled, grabbing the roots of Tyler hair, quickly silencing the brunette into whimpers and sobs until he barely made out the contorted expression upon his captors face.

"You broke _already_?"

Tyler's eyes were blurred with tears but he heard the amusement in the man's voice and Tyler cried loudly as his head was pushed away harshly and his hair was released.

"God, you're pathetic. You won't last much longer." Tyler's eyes widened, "might as well just put you down if you're going to make that much noise."

Tyler whimpered, croaking as he pleaded. "P-please!" He begged, voice rasping with desperation.

 

_You want to die. I know you do._

 

"Please, please..! Please, kill me." Tyler's words came out before he could process them, hope in his eyes. The man gazed down at him in amusement, shaking his head as Tyler's body went limp against the floor.

"I'm not doing you a fucking favor, slut." The man chortled, "you just sealed your own fate."

Tyler sobbed, entire body shaking violently. "Please, please..."

The light flickered off, leaving Tyler in darkness, the only light coming from the doorway but even that was limited as the man stood there for a moment longer before it slammed shut, rattling the walls.

Tyler sat there, arms twisted behind his back painfully and his eyes dried, no tears left as he fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a wild ride. Next chapter will probably be fairly long and for good reason. I'm excited.


	9. Tear me apart, my pieces are shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for RAPE/NON-CON at start. Stay safe.

" _Hush_."

That tone made him shiver. It was quiet, the type that seemed soft and gentle at first but it came out as more of a hiss between the man's chapped lips.

Tyler's eyes welled weakly, hooded gaze trained on the floor as the man brushed his thumb across Tyler's swollen bottom lip. It smeared a trail of dark red, earning a wince of pain from the aching brunette. Blood bubbled from the split where he had been struck with the butt of his captor's pistol just moments ago, earning a tremble and a whimper from the brunette. Not pleased with the timid reaction, the man suddenly grabbed Tyler's chin with such ferocity that the brunette felt his stomach twist, throat tightening instinctively as he choked down a sob.

"Don't make a single noise, don't complain, don't move. Understand? You remember what happened _last time_ you made too much of a ruckus, hm?"

Tyler's bottom lip trembled beneath the pressure of the man's calloused, rough fingers. He nodded slowly, willing himself not to slip into another relapse of those memories.

"You were a complete _mess_. Disgusting if you ask me. And it was only your nineteenth time."

Tyler's entire body trembled violently, feeling a stray finger trail down his abdomen and he squirmed, attempting to shy away from the touch against his bare skin. Which he quickly regretted as soon as the back of a hand met with his cheek and his head spun. His face exploded in pain and he sputtered, breaths sharp.

"Stop fucking _moving_ , you useless bitch. I thought you learned the first dozen times," The man spat, voice laced in venom and Tyler whimpered at the reminder, "What did I just tell you!?"

Tyler shook his head, "no-" he was quickly silenced, shoulders shaking uncontrollably as the stinging sunk into his skin again and sent waves of pain through his cheek. He made a broken noise similar to a whine, eyes squinted as he blinked back tears.

"When did I tell you to talk, bitch?"

His eyes widened as the hands trailed down his chest, his stomach, his hips, to his thighs. Body slumped uncomfortably against the frigid, rough surface of the wall, Tyler neck angled awkwardly as his legs were lifted by his calves, the man settling between his thighs. He felt his hips being shifted involuntarily, rough hands digging their worn down nails into his skin. Tyler sputtered as it sank in, breath hitching in his throat as the man smirked down at him. Swallowing hard, Tyler squirmed, trying to push the man away with numb shoves and weak kicks, gasping and struggling against his restraints, "I can't- I can't!"

The moment he let out uncontainable thrashing and screaming, a hand met with his cheek with so much force that Tyler's jaw ached as his breaths hitched in his throat. Head lurching back from the pressure of the hit, Tyler's cry was cut short as his head hit the wall with a thud. Vision swimming, Tyler went numb. He only felt pathetic, disgusting, and pitiful. Because as he watched through fluttering lashes, unconsciousness nearing, the man still continued to lean over him and grab his hips. Tyler's eyes rolled back into his head as his body gave out, slumping against the wall as he silently took his punishment, unconsciousness pulling him away for just a moment.

As soon as he felt himself settle into his mind, deep into the empty parts that resounded with white noise and high pitched ringing, Tyler knew he would wake soon. Maybe the pain would bring him back, he'd wake up sobbing as he helplessly watched the man grab at his body, thrusting until Tyler's lower half went numb. Maybe he'd wake with a splash of water and choke and sputter on the streams that made it down his throat and nose and have to achingly endure the next hour soaking wet and shivering. Or maybe he'd wake because his body willed him to see. To see what he's allowed, to see that this, this is all his fault.

And that's exactly what happened.  
His eyes flew open and he let out a raw wheeze, throat tightening and releasing irregularly as he gagged. The man had already dug his fingers into his hips, grabbing tightly enough to overlap the fresh bruises that already resided there. Feeling his body lurch at each thrust, Tyler dug his teeth into his lip until it drew blood, and he kept clenching his teeth, gritting and gnawing on the now raw, abused skin until it tore violently. His body folded in half awkwardly as he was aware of each thrust and prod. The man continued the relentless pounds for what felt like hours until he suddenly stilled, hips snapping forward with a heavy crash. Tyler sobbed softly, cries muffled into his bleeding lip. He felt the trickle of cum and blood, unable to distinguish which was more prominent, roll down his thighs and smear against his skin. The man pulled out, leaving Tyler to plead silently, knowing the begging would do nothing but earn him more punishments, harsher and more violent than the last one. Feeling the man lift up his left leg, Tyler could barely see what was happening through hazy eyes. He could only feel something prod against his ass and thighs before he recognized it a second to late. Harsh fingers were thrust inside of him, the singer letting out a weak cry. His heels dug for purchase as the fingers pushed farther inside of him, feeling everything with hypersensitivity to each prod that thruster deeper within him and he finally felt the tears spring to his eyes. The man grinned, eyes wild, almost feral, as he watched Tyler squirm and kick.

"Please stop-" Tyler began, noises high pitched as he tried to writhe away.

"Shut up," the man snarled, "you have no fucking _right_ to talk."

So, Tyler bit down on the inside of his cheek and squeezed his eyes shut. His lower half went numb but he was obviously aware of each time blunt nails scraped against his insides or when calloused fingers rubbed so harshly his body began to go numb and his insides, rubbed raw, ached. By the time it was all over, Tyler's entire body felt empty. He couldn't feel his fingers, which he weakly attempted to twitch but to no avail. The man stood, sloppily wiping the blood and cum from his fingers against Tyler's cheek and chest before the sound of a zipper being pulled up was the only sound in the room besides Tyler's heavy, sharp breathing. The door squealed open, hinges loud and clear as it shrieked. It closed just as quickly. And Tyler bathed in his own self loathing, eyes red with dried tears, nose running, all feelings drained.

 

_Nineteen_. He thought, momentarily closing his eyes as he added to the list with a painful twinge in his chest.

 

_Twenty_. He counted.

  
\--

  
A resounding ring echoed in his ears, pulsing through his pounding temples and making the back of his eyes ache.

_It's pathetic how you took that, Tyler. Barely a struggle, barely even an ounce of a fight left in you. Do you really want to die that bad?_

_Yes. You do, don't you?_

_Then do it._

Eyes snapping open, Tyler's breaths came out as gasps and sobs of terror. He clawed for air as his throat tightened, leaving him wheezing in each breath with desperation in his eyes. The noises were shallow with raw, sharp inhales and weak heaves as tears wet his cheeks. The inside of his thighs burned and his hips were scattered with swelling bruises and marks. His throat convulsed, gagging reflexively as he tasted vomit trying to work it's way out of his mouth. There was a dull slam down the hall, muffled shouts sending Tyler into a frenzy.

That was why he woke up. The popping, the yelling.

Tyler panted as his attempt to recollect himself failed yet again, resulting in strings of wheezes and weeps. There were three final shots, the sound ringing in his ears as he sobbed.  
It fell silent for a moment.

  
_A shame really. I can feel you shaking, stop that. You could have done more, done more to help but look at you now-_

  
The single, bitter thought abruptly cut off as Tyler let out a dry scream at a thud against the door, the sound of something ramming into cheap metal was on the other side. Tyler wailed, helplessly trembling as he pressed his entire body against the wall, the door to his cell-like room swinging wide open with a final crash. Tyler scrambled as far away as his restraints would allow, eyes wide and panicky. The brunette gasped out a string of pleas as three figures, all dressed in heavily bulletproof vests, small black masks covering their mouths, hats so low he could barely make out their eyes, stepped into the room. There was a brief exchange of conversation but the blood rushing through his head gushed so loud in his ears he couldn't make out their words. He only knew to fight back when they stepped closer. Tyler thrashed weakly against the hands that grasped at his wrists and held his body. Tyler shrieked as fingers went to his face, sputtering out things along the lines of "No! _Stop_!" And "Don't! D-Don't touch me!"  
The gloved hands persisted, cupping his jaw as gently as they could until he heard a strangled shout down the hall and a couple shouts. The noise echoed through the cold air, above the three voices that slurred together in front of him just like their faces blurred behind the tears in his eyes. Tyler quickly recognized the yell as Josh's, panic swelling in Tyler's chest as he cried, the figures in front of him exchanging words amongst each other until Tyler finally made out a sentence that was directed at him.

"Tyler Joseph?" His eyes snapped open and he gazed at the figure that was crouched in front of him, eyes red and puffy as his pale orbs glazed over helplessly, "Tyler Joseph, you're safe."

  
"Pl-plea..." Tyler could barely croak anything out, heart caught in his throat.

"Don't talk, Tyler." The figure pulled his black mask down to reveal his full face as the man kneeled to eye level. He had to be in his mid 50's, with a light stubble and a broad nose. His skin was tanned and face slightly scarred and marked with age. The man's eyes were a kind and gentle green, pale but bright all at the same time. As Tyler gazed back with drawn, chocolate orbs, the man sighed briefly and Tyler winced at the pity in his gaze. The brunette ducked his head, giving into trusting this man more and more with the fragile remains of faith that had scattered across the floor.  
"I'm Sheriff Henkley, we're here to help."

Tyler gazed blankly at his lap before he nodded, eyes fluttering closed for a moment too long, assuming he was safe now, until he felt fingers brush his arm. Tyler lurched away violently with a shriek, throat burning as another hand grabbed his wrist but Sheriff Henkley insisted firmly, gently placing a hand on Tyler's knee. "Tyler, Officer Ricard is taking off those restraints. We need you to cooperate with us, please."

The singer continued to tremble, attempting to will himself to let Officer Ricard do his job, but he only shied away more as the officer, reached out again.

"Tyler." Sheriff Henkley murmured gently. "I understand this is hard, I don't know anything about this hell you've endured, but you need to _trust_ us."

Tyler swallowed hard, eyes glazed with tears as he weakly turned to look at Officer Ricard who gazed sympathetically down at him, a pair of bolt cutters in his hands. The brunette's head fell forward and he sobbed, shoulders shaking with each choked out cry and whimper. Tyler's body trembled with a final effort before he fell limp in defeat, entire body giving into the release of his wrists as it twisted and creaked around his hands. His restraints snapped off with a crack and a small spray of flaking rust against his skin. Tyler slumped forward, body crumpling into the arms of Sheriff Henkley who was ready to catch him. Officer Ricard pulled out a handheld radio, pressing a button as Tyler faded in and out of consciousness, face buried into Sheriff Henkley's shoulder. Sheriff Henkley held Tyler like a child, cradling him gently.

"Yeah, Tyler Joseph..." The voices were fuzzy in his ears but Tyler made out some words.

"Ten weeks... Yes, it's him..."

Ten weeks.   
It struck Tyler and he wanted to lurch forward and vomit, to empty his stomach of everything that gnawed deep down within him, everything that reminded him of their captor, but he couldn't. So he sat there, limp in Sheriff Henkley's arms. The man was gently rubbing Tyler's shoulder, tracing soothing circles into the skin.

"Josh... Down the hall... Condition?"

Tyler tensed visibly at the mention of Josh. He could only let out a pant and a gasp, chapped lips mouthing Josh's name. Sheriff Henkley seemed to notice and quietly hushed Tyler as he squirmed weakly, clenching and unclenching his numb fingers until his head felt light again and the words began to slur, unconsciousness creeping across Tyler's vision.

"...Abandoned structure basement off of Youthen road.... Yeah, _that_ one..."

Tyler's eyes felt heavy as his head fell forward, neck giving out with exhaustion. He fell unconscious to the fleeting thoughts of where he was, that maybe he was safe, that he had a chance, that this wasn't a dream.  
And the final thought that had burrowed into his mind and burned behind his eyes as he drifted off clung desperately as his last hope.

_Josh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> free.


	10. Chapped and Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep breaths, everyone.

Easing his eyes open, Tyler swore his body ached in every crevice, arch, and surface of his skin. It throbbed until it reached down into his bones and tore each muscle and nerve apart between the slender fingers of agony.  
The ache in his throat burned like that of when he reflected upon the pain and stretch of his throat when he screamed into his pillow at night after recording a song he ended up trashing later, having belted out multiple screams and shouts during the chorus. He played it over once he was satisfied that he had finished the vocals, had pieced together the sheet for the piano, and as soon as it began his heart jumped into his throat. It wasn't good enough. He ended up sobbing into his blankets as he begged for anything, anyone, to help him in the darkness of his bedroom. That as a seventeen year old in his parents basement, his lyrics didn't mean enough, they didn't feel enough, they weren't enough. Sucking in a trembling breath, Tyler's chapped lips parted as he exhaled, realizing he had been holding his breath as the distant memories flashed behind his eyes.

Eyes watering at the bright light that surrounded him, he blinked, only able to make out blurry white walls through his tears. Tyler was greeted with silence. There was no low buzz of the lightbulb, no screams down the hall. It was unnerving. Shifting his hips, Tyler felt a swell of panic as he couldn't feel frigid concrete beneath him, restraints around his wrists, couldn't smell the heavy stench of waste, having become accommodated to the bitter environment. Instead, he felt silky sheets and a gentle pillow, a hand on his knee, rubbing circles into the skin through the thin sheet that was rolled up to his chest.

A hand was on him.

Tyler's eyes widened and he screamed, hands flying out to slap away the hand that rubbed along his leg. Meeting the intrusive touch with dry fingers and panicky gasps, blunted nails meet skin and he swiped at the hand before he scrambled away only so far before he folded in on himself with a whine. White hot pain shot down his spine and through his chest. Clutched his stomach with a sob, Tyler whimpered helplessly as he heard an alarm buzz in his ear, droning down the halls. A voice next to him, laced with panic spoke in a high pitched voice.

"Tyler, honey, please calm down!" The hand went to grip his own, but he panicked, veins bursting in a new found energy to fight now that he didn't have restraints to hold him back. He snatched the hand, gripping so tightly, squeezing the fingers as he gasped between each gritting of his teeth. A voice, feminine, cried out, "Tyler, stop! _Ow_ \- Tyler please! It's me!"

 

_it's no one, Tyler. Break it. Break it_

 

He only gripped tighter until he realized there were hands on his shoulders and arms, pushing him back against the soft sheets. His hand was torn away from the other's, feeling his nails drag down their fingers as he clutched desperately onto the skin. The hand was wrenched from his own and his fingers ached at the loss. A gush of voices shouted orders and directions swarmed into the room, one woman smoothing back his hair, urged.

"Sir, please listen-"

Tyler went rigid. _Sir._  
His chest exploded in agony as he screamed, wrenching his limbs away from hands that tried to hold him down.

"please stop! Please! _Please_ don't make me!" He wailed, thrashing about.

There was another burst of noise as he felt the hands attempt to pin him down with more force. He writhed and kicked his limbs out until he felt arms pin them down and his bones ached as some of the hands gripped so tightly they were sure to overlap his already existing marks and bruises. Everything ached as he thrashed about, knees bending as he tried to kick himself free, back arching off the mattress, and his hips twisting and shrinking away from each touch. Tear streaked cheeks were flushed as he sobbed, feeling restraints tie on his wrists and ankles.

He wasn't safe.  
He wasn't safe.

He tried to writhe against the holds on his chest and shoulders to keep him down. Making out a voice in the shouts that rung in his ears, Tyler began to thrash more as he heard someone shout, "Sedate him!"  
He cried out as he felt a prick in his shoulder that throbbed in both his temples and his numbing arm. His back settled against the mattress again, loosing it's awkward arch with a choked back cry, chest heaving wildly. His neck felt weak and his head hit the pillow with a thud, breathing growing shallow and chocolate orbs growing pale. Eye's feeling heavier, Tyler's vision wavered, fading in and out between the bright light of the room and the darkness behind his eyelids. Soon, he felt his limbs go slack and his entire body stilled. There was silence. Everyone was watching his face that was previously troubled with panic, relax. Murmuring rippled through the group, some saying their goodbyes and others muttering an excuse to leave the scene, and the people hurried out of the room, each going in different directions to escape the scene in either horror or discomfort. Only one nurse and a woman lingered in the now quiet room, both seated at the chairs in the far corner. The walls somehow still rung with Tyler's screams and the shouts of doctors, the two women sitting in silence for a moment too long as it sent shivers down their spines. The nurse spoke up first, her voice so gentle it draped the room in silk and warmth.

"Mrs. Joseph, come with me please, I need to clean your hand."

"I-I can't." Jenna said quietly, clinging onto the arms of the chair, "He's my husband, please..."

The nurse's eyes softened sympathetically but she still didn't give into Jenna's persistence. "I'm sorry ma'am, but it's best we leave him be." The nurse whispered, helping Jenna stand up on wobbling legs. The blonde gripped her wrist just below where Tyler had clenched on and dug his nails into her skin. It was bleeding, scarlet-red smears across the back of her perfectly tanned skin, her fingers trembling.  
"He's rightfully exhausted and if what just happened was any kind of indication, he's probably very overwhelmed... Come with me, I'll wrap your hand just in case. And after, we'll get you some food and some coffee, does that sound good?"

Blonde hair disheveled, face empty of makeup and color, Jenna felt a sudden lightness in her head at the thought of leaving Tyler's side when he had finally been found just hours ago, having been separated for months. She could barely believe herself leaving his side and risking not being there when he woke again. She looked pale with worry, eyes shallow and drawn, before Jenna nodded. Hesitantly looking back at Tyler with drained, pale blue orbs for a moment before she sighed in defeat and ducked her head. Guilt ate at the pit of her stomach, scanned her damaged fingers and palm, before taking the nurse's grasp in her own with her undamaged hand and a ginger smile.

"Can we check on Josh? I-I want to see him as well."

The nurse blinked, averting her gaze to her tennis shoes which made Jenna's chest swell with panic. The lady exhaled heavily before shaking her head slowly, "Not yet. He just needs a couple more days and we can see into that. For now, be there for Tyler."

Jenna sniffled, rubbing her eye with the heel of her palm as she nodded. "Okay. Thank you so much."

  
\--

  
Everything ached.  
That's all he knew.

His body was so hot, skin searing like it could blister at the heat that pulsed through his body. He couldn't squirm away from the feeling, he couldn't roll over, and he came to terms with the assumption his beatings, punishments, every bone broken, each scab and scar torn open, finally made his body hit his breaking point. Infected wounds and aching fingers left his body aflame, muscles scorching and screaming each time he shifted his hips or shrugged his shoulders. Maybe when your muscles give out, it feels like soft, silky blanket, plush pillows, and smelled like a hospital. And that wasn't so bad of a thought at this point.

He couldn't open his eyes, leaving him to rely on sound and touch alone. Maybe he was dying.

He knew that was a stupid assumption, but the possibilities were endless. He heard voices pass occasionally, trying to listen in on conversations that passed his door, wondering only briefly when there was ever more than one captor. That was until one familiar voice, muffled through the door, and laced with the sound of tears, walked by. He couldn't make out the words but he wanted to allow his mouth to go slack with shock, had it not been for how badly it bled and ached.  
That was Jenna's voice.

 

_Why is Jenna here? Did she get captured too? Oh god. This isn't happening._

 

His mind went wild with panic, hearing the incessant beeping gain speed next to him until his shallow breaths came out as gasps and croaks, his throat convulsing as breaths refused to escape his lips. He fell back unconscious as figures burst into the room, head rolling to the side as his neck went slack, feeling fingers ghost over his throat and across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while half asleep and barely able to keep myself together emotionally so sorry about this chapter it's messy and gross. Sorry this took so long as well, I'm literally running on 3 hours of sleep. end me.


	11. Don't Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of attempting suicide/suicidal thoughts at start.  
> Next chapter will be fairly graphic though so keep an eye out.

He hated it.

  
Tyler stirred from unconsciousness, heavy eyes opening as he glanced about the sterile white walls, mind numb for just a blissful moment.

Striking him with a blow of reality and agony, Tyler groaned as he shifted his hips, feeling the weakened, bruised muscle all the way down to his calves set fire in pain. Tyler felt that all to familiar, shallow pulsing and ache course through the weakened limbs.  
The least he could expect is everything horrible. He knew it was coming, the months of pain. He heard them talking over him, he heard Jenna crying, he heard the doctor reassure her with empty words.

  
But nothing prepared him for the voice. The prodding.

The thoughts that echoed and rung so loud that they slipped from his lips. They tore off his tongue, coming out as weak croaks and gags. Words never came out, none of them were actually audible, they slipped between breaths as the nurses cleaned his wounds and dabbed his forehead with a wet cloth.

 

_ST OP._ _  
JOSH WOU LD WA NT YOU TO._

 

The voice became apparent as he stared up at the ceiling, already feeling light headed as the thoughts came in streams, only bits of the harsh, guttural snarls reaching Tyler's mind. Long fingers tapped at the inside of his skull, poking behind his eyes, trying to find somewhere to escape from. Tyler clenched his teeth, he squeezed his eyes shut, he stilled his body.

 

_STO PBR EATH ING.  
YO U'LL FE ELS O MU CHB ETTER._

 

Tyler wished he could agree. He'd tried already during the second day of hospitalization, to hold his breath, to try to stop breathing all together after he had weakly asked where Josh was.  
They only looked nervously between each other before one said, "he's in critical condition-" and he remembered feeling his breath hitch in his throat as tears threatened at the corners of his eyes. It had resulted with his chest feeling like it was being crushed, with doctors and hands all over him as he willed himself to continue holding his breath, struggling as he choked between each sob.

He barely remembered gasping at the doctor who was at his side, his brown orbs pleading with fluttering eyelids.

 

Breaking from his momentary pull of thought, of memories, Tyler heard a voice softly speak up from the doorway as there was a gentle knock on the frame. Tyler's heart suddenly lurching in his chest, he felt his body scream as he tensed in panic. The room felt cold for a second, the sheets became concrete, the bedframe became shackles.

  
"Hey, Ty."

 

Eyes widening, Tyler's chapped lips parted in surprise as the chilling air melted away. He could barely make out the figure through murky, blurry eyes that were still adjusting from sleep. He felt a smile form just at the warm presence in the room as he rasped, "Mark..?"

The man walked over, and Tyler saw everything once he came up close, the warm exterior melting into something much more complicated. The bags beneath his eyes, the reddened lids, the shallowness to his once gentle, bright, resonating eyes. Tyler gestured to come closer as Mark's lip trembled, brows furrowing as they both tried to hold back tears. Tyler opened his arms weakly and Mark all but dove into Tyler's chest. Mark wrapped his arms as gently as he could around Tyler's chest, burying his face beneath the thinner man's chin. Mark trembled and Tyler exhaled sharply, breathing out a small huff of pain at the sudden lurch but still leaned into the touch.  
Mark's voice wavered, muffled into Tyler's hospital gown, "they all lost hope, God, everyone was going to give up..."

Tyler carded his fingers through oily, unkempt hair as far as his arms would allow him to reach. He breathed in shakily, biting down on his lip to quiet the on coming whimper as Mark cried, tears wetting Tyler's chest. "Tyler, oh god, oh god we lost so _many_."

Tyler sucked in a breath, eyes going wide with both fear and concern.

Mark drew back, his own mouth opened in shock, eyes panicky as he leaned away and Tyler almost wanted to plea for Mark to come back, his warmth something Tyler already missed. "Shit. I-I..."

Tyler's heart pounded inside his chest as his chest began to heave wildly, fingers cold again, "Who..?" He demanded.

"Tyler, Tyler breathe for me." Mark urged, leaning back to hold Tyler's shoulders, steadying the now trembling brunette. Tyler's mouth moved but no words came out until he rasped. "The clique, how many- how many?"

Mark's eyes pooled with a new found pain, of raw emotion as he whispered. "Thousands."

Tyler's eyes finally spilled with tears, the warmth rolling down his cheeks as he shook violently at the thought. "Oh my god, Mark no- no."  
Mark pulled Tyler back into the embrace wordlessly, Tyler now burying his face into Mark's shoulder, fingers digging into the warm cloth of Mark's hoodie, gripping onto it so desperately as if he let go, Mark would disappear.

Mark whispered softly, his own voice failing him as he murmured, "Hey... I, uh, passed Jenna on the way here. She says she wants to talk to you soon. Don't tell the nurses," Mark leaned in a little closer for effect as Tyler's brows quirked, "but we're going to get you some Taco Bell one of these days."

Tyler's lips gently curled up in a smile, a breathy string of laughter escaping his chapped lips. The spell of soft breaths and light hearted jokes snapped back in a mere second. The fault line reaching its extent of joy before it couldn't handle the emotions, the strong pull of positivity. The fragile layer of smiles and pale eyes glowing with distant hope collapsing as the room cloaked in panic. A team of doctors rushed by, one stopping yoke an into Tyler's room and barking at the nurse who was supervising him, "we need you in Room 2204!"

 

Tyler blinked, voice suddenly dying in his throat.

 

Who was hurt? Did something go wrong?

He hoped they were okay.

He only let out a short exhale and glanced at a now pale Mark and felt the all too familiar feeling of bile and panic rise in the back of his throat. Mark's face drained of color, he didn't tear his gaze away from the doorway as the nurse rushed by.

"Tyler.. Room 2204 is Josh."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad. All these chapters are getting progressively more messy and short. I'm sorry :c  
> But I hope you guys still enjoyed.


End file.
